Did you put on your woman repellent tonight?

They are selling it at your local Ed Hardy T-shirt store.  Like these lovely specimens on the left, most men think they know what to do with the ladies… even if they don’t. It’s difficult to know what you are doing wrong, but easy to identify it in other people.  Most men put on their favorite cheesy drinking t-shirt and give it the old college try, just like they did the last time they failed miserably at the bar.  Maybe this time the outing can be more educated, after all you’re not in college anymore.

I will only say this once.  Do not wear Ed Hardy gear, it is about as attractive as dousing yourself in a blend of sheep, cat and llama pee.  Burn your Ed Hardy clothing, don’t even give it to the homeless.  They deserve better.

There are many things guys do when out at the bars that make women want to throw up in their mouth.  If you can’t identify these 3 types of guys, then you may be dangerously close to being one of them so pay attention.


1.  Stage 1 Creepers

Ricky Ricardo and the constant creepers stand stiffly in the corner with their drinks, robotically eye molesting at all the girls in the bar like transformer gagatrons.  These guys are extreme but every girl knows what group I ‘m talking about because there is one in every bar.  Guys, you are better off socializing with the girls they are attracted to or staying home and saving your money!  Heavens to Betsy, don’t just stare at them or do the awkward shifty eye wink.

Even if you say hi to a girl and it doesn’t go anywhere, it’s nothing to take personal because if you leave a good impression and you see her later it’s easier to continue and conversation where you left off, then start from “Hey, I was staring at you for about 3 hours over there in that corner and I just had to come say hi…”


2.   Eager beavers

Women shudder when they walk up and again when they walk away.  They are the overly excited puppy dog gang, searching for any thing with female parts to latch onto, waggling their little tails about the bar. (yes, I said waggling)  These guys act like they have never seen a girl before, or maybe like they just railed some high octane methamphetamine, or both.  Perhaps you could try sedating yourself before entering the establishment.

Girls can sense when a guy has not been around girls.  It appears like they have an ankle braclet they give parolees on house arrest and it shocks them with a certain edgy nervousness any time someone with lovely lady lumps enters a 30-foot radius. I know she’s gorgeous guys, but it’s good to get used to hanging out with and being normal around girls as friends.  Treat them like you treat your guy friends, they are people too!  If you put women in some special superior category you will act weird around them.  A man is more desirable if other women desire him so even bringing out some of your girl friends is a good idea too.


3.  Too Kool McGoulds

They take longer to get ready than me when I’m being slow.  They only talk to those who are a part of their double x secret club.  They wear scarves in the summer and over wax their man brows.  When an attractive girl smiles at them they pretend not to know or care, suffering from delusions that this makes them appear famous, rich, fabulous, and therefore more attractive.  That look she shot you was your in!  Their withdrawn arrogance is a facade and everyone sees it but them.

If men have their guard up like this all the time, women are going to match it and be closed and cold, armed with their bitch shield to protect them.  Both parties want to get to know each other but neither will get off the cool train, so it quickly becomes a stale mate situation.  Pretending she doesn’t exist makes her wonder why you are so inaccessable for about 4 seconds and move on to another.  You leave the bar with your scarf and your bar tab and no one on your arm.  Flirting with a girl and being engaging turns her on and it’s a lot more fun for you because you get to do something other then pretend to be cool.

In your next bar outing, leave these three personalities at home and try being friendly, fun, and social.  Go out with some friends, maybe even some girls you know.  Give the open and flirtatious way a shot or the old college try, whichever you prefer. :)


Manswers: Pretend for just a minute that you’re not only into my vagina

There are a few things that having a one track mind gets you.

1) Dumped.

2) Laid for 1-4 times, then dumped… maybe 5 if you’re really good in the sack.

That is if you can even get the girl in the first place.  There are two main extremes of guys who are only after the pun-tang.

1) The player: the guy who slept with your sister, and her friend, and…your aunt Eileen?!

On one side they are very self expressed about it and they are not afraid to let any girl know that they are on the prowl for one thing.  In fact many times they are proud of their mission to get laid.  And these guys do get laid.  They might not be happy and fulfilled, and neither are the girls they are sleeping with.  Most of the time they do not open themselves up emotionally which makes it difficult to have fulfilling relationships.  These guys don’t usually start searching for something more meaningful until they have a midlife crisis where they realize that all the supermodels they have banged only temporarily fill the void they feel inside.  It takes them a long time to really experience the emptiness they feel because they can easily mask their vacant core with all the ladies coming and going through their revolving door.

Playahood can be a necessary stage…

Sometimes guys need to go through some sort of a player phase like this to realize they want something more.  It’s hard to battle a really high level of testosterone until they have seen the way they feel when their life is run by it.  They eventually realize that they aren’t getting what they want through all the shallow relationships.  What they crave internally is something deeper and more intimate.  This is when the man hangs up his player hat and looks for a more meaningful relationship; and if they are ready for it they start attracting more quality women that they could take home to mama.  This is really an act of self respect because if you are disrespecting women, you know you are showing that same disrespect to yourself.

 2) The creepy guy: the guy who wants it really bad but never gets it…not even Aunt Eileen.

The other type is guys who are ashamed of wanting to get laid and they try to hide their sexual desires and make everyone think they are really nice and sweet.  THEY THINK if girls only knew how much they wanted to get all willy nilly in the bedroom with them, they would never even talk to them!  These creepy guys are resentful and get down on themselves when girls put them in the friend zone and they don’t get any, they are jealous of the guys to just go out and get it.  Many times these guys join the dating community to become sex machines like the more outgoing “player” vagina hunters.  Sometimes they are successful and when these guys become good at taking girls home many times they eventually get depressed because it isn’t what they always fantasized it would be like.  This is baffling and frustrating because even with all this new validation they think they will never be happy.  This is usually when they become pick-up coaches. :) And sometimes at this point they start realizing that they aren’t getting what they really want and they try something new.

Most of my clients are the second type of guy, whether they made it to the community or not they realized that wasn’t the route they wanted to take.  They wanted something fulfilling and real.  I teach them that there is a different way to go about dating where they accept themselves as they are, without trying to put on an act of what they think an attractive man should be.  They stop performing; if people want a performance they will go to a play.  I help my clients  look for relationship instead of self-gratification.  Relationship starts with their relationship with themselves, what they feel internally is what they will manifest in a woman so we go to work on dealing with and erasing negative programs and creating positive ones.


The Perfect Mix: guys can respect themselves and women and still get laid?? Manswers asks…

The answer is yes you can.  Some guys naturally have the desire and ability to create deep connections with women.  Of course they get laid in the process but it is not their quest in life.  Because they aren’t attached to getting laid, they find it happening easily.  Every one down deep in their heart of hearts wants to feel close and intimate with the opposite sex, and further have someone more “special” to them than all the others.  I believe this is the number one cause of pain in our culture today.  Men and women want deep connections but many have no idea how to find them.

The people who get it and are able to experience deep connection with others are not afraid to be vulnerable about their pain.  They aren’t ashamed that they are not perfect.  We relate to each other through our imperfection.  They are looking for someone else to share their experiences, hopes, fears, dreams, feelings, passions, etc. with and they are not afraid to put that stuff out there.  Ultimately we all want someone who will know everything about us and like us anyway.  The ones who get this attract the healthiest, quality women into their life… and of course there is plenty of vagina along the way.


Releasing the sex kitten from it’s cultural cage

I am writing this to clarify a myth that is old and outdated but people still use it much like those who won’t give up their beloved blackberries. hehe  The myth is “All men want is to hook up and all women want are relationships”.

Where does this come from?

It goes back to our very biology.  Women are programed at a biological level to mother and take care of her offspring to ensure the human race continues to exist.  Naturally with this as a core level function for being here a woman wants to be with one man so when she starts hatching little ones someone is there to provide for them while she stays at home in the tipi to raise the kids.  She has to be selective with who she allows to impregnate her because she can only pop out so many of these creatures in a lifetime and each baby takes a lot of responsibility, but most of all because the man warriors are not created equal.  Some husbands are more likely to survive a buffalo attack and bring home food so her children don’t starve… re: she wants one that can beat a buffalo in a fight and bring it home for dinner.

Meanwhile men are running around wanting to spread their seed all over the village to carry on their name, so they get aroused every time a sexy maiden with a nice hip to waist ratio walks before them in a raw hide skirt.  Men are programed to want multiple sexual partners, thus creating a bit of tension between the genders.

So biologically speaking the myth is correct.  Men want to hook up and women want relationships.  That said, as a culture we have come a long way since buffalo and rawhide skirts.  In recent years women and men have explored different dynamics of our human psyche and we are not victims of our biology anymore.  Men find themselves happy and satisfied with one woman and women find themselves enjoying multiple partners.

The denying of the female sexuality…… [Continue Reading …]