They are selling it at your local Ed Hardy T-shirt store. Like these lovely specimens on the left, most men think they know what to do with the ladies… even if they don’t. It’s difficult to know what you are doing wrong, but easy to identify it in other people. Most men put on their favorite cheesy drinking t-shirt and give it the old college try, just like they did the last time they failed miserably at the bar. Maybe this time the outing can be more educated, after all you’re not in college anymore.
I will only say this once. Do not wear Ed Hardy gear, it is about as attractive as dousing yourself in a blend of sheep, cat and llama pee. Burn your Ed Hardy clothing, don’t even give it to the homeless. They deserve better.
There are many things guys do when out at the bars that make women want to throw up in their mouth. If you can’t identify these 3 types of guys, then you may be dangerously close to being one of them so pay attention.
1. Stage 1 Creepers
Ricky Ricardo and the constant creepers stand stiffly in the corner with their drinks, robotically eye molesting at all the girls in the bar like transformer gagatrons. These guys are extreme but every girl knows what group I ‘m talking about because there is one in every bar. Guys, you are better off socializing with the girls they are attracted to or staying home and saving your money! Heavens to Betsy, don’t just stare at them or do the awkward shifty eye wink.
Even if you say hi to a girl and it doesn’t go anywhere, it’s nothing to take personal because if you leave a good impression and you see her later it’s easier to continue and conversation where you left off, then start from “Hey, I was staring at you for about 3 hours over there in that corner and I just had to come say hi…”
2. Eager beavers
Women shudder when they walk up and again when they walk away. They are the overly excited puppy dog gang, searching for any thing with female parts to latch onto, waggling their little tails about the bar. (yes, I said waggling) These guys act like they have never seen a girl before, or maybe like they just railed some high octane methamphetamine, or both. Perhaps you could try sedating yourself before entering the establishment.
Girls can sense when a guy has not been around girls. It appears like they have an ankle braclet they give parolees on house arrest and it shocks them with a certain edgy nervousness any time someone with lovely lady lumps enters a 30-foot radius. I know she’s gorgeous guys, but it’s good to get used to hanging out with and being normal around girls as friends. Treat them like you treat your guy friends, they are people too! If you put women in some special superior category you will act weird around them. A man is more desirable if other women desire him so even bringing out some of your girl friends is a good idea too.
3. Too Kool McGoulds
They take longer to get ready than me when I’m being slow. They only talk to those who are a part of their double x secret club. They wear scarves in the summer and over wax their man brows. When an attractive girl smiles at them they pretend not to know or care, suffering from delusions that this makes them appear famous, rich, fabulous, and therefore more attractive. That look she shot you was your in! Their withdrawn arrogance is a facade and everyone sees it but them.
If men have their guard up like this all the time, women are going to match it and be closed and cold, armed with their bitch shield to protect them. Both parties want to get to know each other but neither will get off the cool train, so it quickly becomes a stale mate situation. Pretending she doesn’t exist makes her wonder why you are so inaccessable for about 4 seconds and move on to another. You leave the bar with your scarf and your bar tab and no one on your arm. Flirting with a girl and being engaging turns her on and it’s a lot more fun for you because you get to do something other then pretend to be cool.
In your next bar outing, leave these three personalities at home and try being friendly, fun, and social. Go out with some friends, maybe even some girls you know. Give the open and flirtatious way a shot or the old college try, whichever you prefer. :)