We are always moving toward what we want or away from it, but there is no such thing as not moving. Our culture is lazy and entitled and we think that things will magically happen or one day someone will just give us what we want. Sometimes we get lucky and it happens all at once with what seems like no effort, but we paid the price somewhere along the way. Being lucky is about working toward your goal and simultaneously being open for it to suddenly happen all at once. If you haven’t put the personal work in on yourself to be in a place where you know you deserve to have what you are seeking you will unconsciously find a way to lose it or get rid of it. This can happen with anything. I used to have trouble having more than a few thousand dollars in my bank account at one time so I would subconsciously find ways to drain my money without realizing that’s what I was doing.
As a dating coach I have seen this a lot with people and dating. For example: I had a dating coaching client who was great at meeting women who were not the ones he wanted. He could never seem to meet the kind of girl he dreamed about. When he found a woman who could potentially be exactly what he wanted, he took himself out by getting nervous and over compensating for his discomfort. Normally he was great with women, so this was not a matter of knowing what to do or how to talk to girls, it was about him not feeling worthy of this woman even though she was what he was looking for. After doing some deep personal work on issues he had surrounding deserving to have a happy relationship, he was able to line up what he wanted with his unconscious mechanisms that were repelling what he wanted, he met a lovely woman and has been in a happy relationship for over a year now. After dealing with the issue that was swimming just underneath the surface he was able to feel good about attracting the right woman for him and there was nothing in the way of that happening.
Moving toward your goals is uncomfortable. It’s not easy the way just letting our dysfunctional mechanisms run the show is easy. It requires discipline and dedication while also being able to let it go. When you let it go it can come back to you, if you’re holding on to the fantasy of it for dear life, the real thing can’t come in to existence for you.
Growth requires us to be in a constant state of change. Change it uncomfortable. If you’re not uncomfortable you’re shrinking. So get uncomfortable. Take a risk.